My SIL quite pointedly maintained this position, turning sharply away from me at the funeral. She even told another person that I was the one refusing to talk to her. I considered confronting her over this lie, but there are only so many times you can beg someone to deal with issues between you.
However, my brother did approach me later at the wake, and gave me a quick hug. I felt wary and confused, but inwardly hopeful. I asked him if this meant we were now talking. When he tried to assure me that we'd "always been talking", I told him that this hadn't felt like the reality I'd experienced.
But I really wanted him to know how much I'd valued his overture of friendship, so I said to him as we leaving, "If we are talking, can we have coffee together?" He responded positively, so I asked him to call me to set a date.
I came away hopeful that at least he and I might be able to restore relationship. Sadly, I've heard nothing from him in the weeks since.
As much as I want to see a different outcome, I know I can't control him or make him want to have relationship with me. So I choose to set him free.
I just hope that somewhere, deep down inside he knows this truth: